Monday, November 30, 2009

Detecting Deception in an Apology

I have written an essay that was too long to publish here. This is a follow-up article on apologies. The excerpt can be read as follows:

This is an essay on Detecting Deception in an Apology (DDinA) using statement analysis. The approach presented in this essay aims to be accessible to the general public by focusing on the basic elements of statement analysis and provides the ability to be manually performed in a reasonably short time with an acceptable appreciation of the truthfulness and sincerity in an apology.


  1. Excellent essay! I’m impressed. The writing skill is rather rich and it’s a very good dissection of an apology. There is obviously a huge amount of work behind this document. Extremely structured. Constructive. Logical. Rational. That said, it brings hopes: you’ll certainly be very good at offering sincere apologies.

    Have a good day, Ian.

  2. It is flattering, Anonymous. I do know how to apologize and I do know how to determine whether or not an apology is truthful and sincere. The latter is as important as the former. This blog post is exclusively about the latter.

  3. The apology was sincere but you expected/demanded full submission and prostration (again, it's all about your super-ego, it's what cause so much trouble around you and end to hurt you anyway). Thus you need to be sincere when you read an apology and recognize your wrongdoings too. One cannot take full responsability for you simply because he was the first one to apologize.

    However, I hope your wounds will be healed and help to become someone conscious later.

  4. To tell the truth, you're right to detect doubt in my apology. It's perhaps because I confounded 'sympathy' with 'excuses'. Apologizing isn't appropriate since I cannot take full responsability of everything.

    However I'm sincere when I'm saying I feel sorry for the wounds caused to you during summer, but somehow those were necessary to make you realize how someone can feel under the weight of your manners. It's a little ironic as you expect an apology from me, but it was actually 'Ian' vs 'Ian' during those dialogues. What you endured is what you're doing constantly to others. I hope you can realize that even if it's not easy.

    I emailed you after watching 'A Christmas Carol' at the theater (the new version by Robert Zemeckis, which was unbelievably spectacular, especially with the 3D glasses!)

    Of course it's unnecessary to write a summary because we all know about this classical tale, but still, I was overwhelmed how Ebenezer Scrooge and you shared personality traits together. Especially the way both of you has chosen to become 'adult' and 'obsessed toward responsabilities and obligations', which ended to transform him/you into cold-blooded and cruel persons through the years. Anyway, how could a living being stay nice through such sad beliefs? Your beliefs are mostly penalizing you (and others around you until they decide to wound you or leave you alone).

    During the movie we also notice that Ebenezer was friendless during his childhood, which affected his latter personality. It's probably why you didn't understand why I related part of your childhood in my email, I felt sympathy and pity for you when I left the theater. I know you since you're 13 years old and I witnessed your personal growth.

    I wish that you can improve you beliefs and become warm-hearted thanks to them. If I see an occasion to help you with this, I will do it.

  5. Dear Anonymous, blackthirteen and any other nicknames related to that same person

    Choose one nickname and stick to it if you want to comment anonymously on my blog. Continuously alternating from anonymous, your alter ego and yourself is a deceptive behaviour.

    Furthermore, you repeatedly refer to me as if you know me and yet refuses to explicitly identify yourself. This deprives me to address what you are saying in a fair manner because you set the advantage on your side. This is a deceptive behaviour and it is disrespectful to me.

    My blog is not a personal diary online.

    “A Christmas Carol” is an unusual reference. You imply similarities between Scrooge and me. It makes me consider who you are in this story. The spirits? Let me make it clear for you. You have no right to teach me a lesson. Whoever you are, if you don't like me, my attitude, my products, etc., don't stick around. I don't need the extra baggage.

    I have given countless hours of pro bono work in the past 14 years. Hours financed directly from my pockets to unselfishly support others' projects. The fact that I am thorough, rigorous and demanding should not overshadow all my past actions. This is something you have overlooked when you compared me with Scrooge.

    Get your facts straight.


  6. If I don't like you?

    Dude, we're friends. and don't tell me the contrary because I won't believe you. That's certainly why you keep writing articles that are related to us. Don't tell me that inside you I don't miss you, actually everyday you wish me to come back on your blog otherwise you wouldn't express your sentiments in your essays. We certainly have our share of difficult moments (after all we're humans) but we're friends.

    And you're not wrong to envision me as the spirits. I just wish your own good.

    That's how facts are straight.

  7. P.S: It's normal that you're afraid and feel doubt face to this situation.

    Let's just take it easy, one step at a time.

  8. blackthirteen,

    You're not my friend. My friends don't hide their identity when they communicate with me. They know how to contact me directly. They don't call me Scrooge because they know I am generous and I do not let lonely or poor friends alone during Christmas holidays.

    You're a show girl with your feathers. What is it you are doing — a publicity stunt?